- Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.
- Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.
- You mean there's something else to do?
- Steal WiFi from your neighbor.
- Play single player mode.
- Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.
- Slit your wrists with broken AOL trial disks.
- Start talking to your girlfriend again.
- Call friends to see if their ISP is working.
- Create your own IM bot to converse with.
- Plot out your revenge for the ISP.
- Run in circles, screaming hysterically about the end of the world.
- Open up the ol' pinging .bat file!
- Take a shower and scrape off mold/fern from body.
- Go through your web cache to see if you missed anything.
- Switch to TV.
- Twiddle your thumbs.
- Go to the bathroom (of course!).
- Hang yourself with network cables.
- Load up the zsnes emulator and play chrono trigger and earthbound for hours.
- Smack your modem against the wall.
- Smash your head on the keyboard until it restores.
- Get a black rooster paint a pentacle with his blood and do some invocations.
- Go out to buy another pallet of Mountain Dew for the year ahead.
- Host a LAN game with hopes of people joining.
- Write your lists on paper.
- Bet on horses; wake up the gerbil.
- Go to Starbucks and Login to T-Mobile.
- Pray to the Dark Gods that it will be fixed.
- Try dialing in every 10 minutes, just in case its back up.
- Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.
- Dial 911.
32 Things to do when your ISP is down
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